What You Should Know About My Verification Process?
I know. It’s a frustrating risk to deal with. A verification is something that seems like it shouldn’t be here if we are all trying to be discreet and private. We all want to be like a shadow on the wall…
I lay in bed sometimes wondering how I can make this process easier and mutually beneficial. I’m aware that I often lose what could be a great opportunity to meet someone special simply because of my verification system. I really wish I didn’t have to do it…but it is my hope that by sharing why I do this, it will help you gain an understanding and a sense of trust that your information is not only safe with me…but necessary.
If you look at my website, you can see that I have gone above and beyond to give you a good sense of the kind of woman I am. I have revealed a lot about myself much more than other ladies. I do this to help ensure that I am an authentic person worthy to get to know. If I want to see someone who will treat me with respect and look at me as an actual woman rather than a “provider”, then I have to show my real self more. But because of this, I’ve also made myself quite vulnerable.
It’s like a rose with thorns – although the information I give helps us both feel safe with one another, there also comes an inevitable backlash in which I am vulnerable to pranksters, jokesters, and emotionally unstable individuals. If I were just like everyone else with minimal words and a lot more pictures, I don’t think there would be such a backlash. Maybe just a few. But then the problem would be that you wouldn’t get to see what a date with me would truly be like. You wouldn’t get to see beyond the images. I would sink in with the rest and not have a unique voice.
I am not a difficult woman to work with…but when it comes to these things, I learned the hard way that I need to stand tall to protect my safety and emotional well-being. I’ve seen just how far some men will go to hurt you and that is why I am put in a position where I’m compelled to be strict with my verification process.
Thus, I would like to apologize if my system seems a little too farfetched but I hope that I’ve given you enough of a glimpse to know why it is very much needed. I am faced with a red flag almost every single week. Most of them are small and easy to dismiss, like the one I received just this morning, “Hi Andrea was wondering if ur available and if u r how much ?”. Ugh…
It is from these experiences that I harbor a sense of apprehension and, admittedly, a little bit of paranoia.
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how much a man tells me I’m special, I’m unique, we’ll be perfect together, yada yada…even the length of e-mails or frequency don’t matter to me until that person is verified and has made a deposit.
Yes, I’ve heard it all: “You can trust me, I won’t waste your time, I’m really a good gentleman, You’re safe with me, I’m serious, I’ll treat you like a princess, I won’t flake on you, etc”.
I’m sad to say that those words will fall on deaf ears until I see proof. If I seem cold or distant, this is why. A minor red flag came up within our conversation. I try not to appear this way and I do my best to sound positive but I really don’t want to invest myself into someone unless I know I’m safe.
But once I do have that proof…then I light up like a sweet daisy that has just been watered. Hooray! Now everything you say to me is treated with the utmost care, love, and understanding. It is only until then that I get excited and thrilled for our date!
I really am trying my best to figure out how to do this without compromising my safety while giving you a sense of ease that you will be protected as well. I care about you. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable and it genuinely concerns me because if I were in your position, I would also feel like contacting a companion would be risky. Though, I would argue over who has the higher risk – me or you? You’re not the only one with friends, family, a career, and a good standing among the community…
We all have a risk in this. We are all moving on a sense of uncertainty and it can be scary. But at what point does our paranoia begin to get in our way of a truly remarkable experience?
That’s why I try my best to reveal myself as an authentic person.
Behind the images and words is a simple woman who lives in a quaint apartment with birds and squirrels moving about outside her window. It’s peaceful, I have my coffee in the morning, I exercise with pilates, and I work diligently on my computer in my office filled with books. But despite these deepest efforts to show myself, I will still get those who can’t believe that I’m real. They e-mail asking if I hired someone to write these words, if I’m a robot, or if I work with L.E..
So I’ve come up with a few things that I think may help…
Talk to me first. If you initially state that you wish to exchange a few emails first before revealing any information about yourself, then I would be happy to oblige! But if you just keep avoiding it without telling me then it sets off an alarm that shows you just might be a jerk trying to waste my time. There is nothing wrong with making sure that I am a living and breathing woman.
Phone Calls. If you want to have a phone call, I apologize but I would only be open to it after a verification and deposit.
Skype. If you don’t have two references and don’t wish to share your work information, then this alternative might actually be the best. I would be willing to play around with a brief Skype session where I will turn my video off with the audio still on and request to see your ID. The deposit will be due right then. That way there will be no written or image trails of you or your work information. And you get the confirmation that I am indeed a real woman. Do you think that fair?
With this alternative, please review the basic etiquette of conducting yourself as a gentleman. This is not a cam show but an opportunity to greet one another for a few minutes and settle any nerves before a date. Capisce?
If you do not want to go through the verification process or make a deposit, though I understand your need for privacy and discretion, I will not be able to do anything more for you. Please don’t try to negotiate with me and just look for someone else.
WHY I STAY
I know that it seems like my life is filled with danger, caution, and frustration…but I’m happy to say that I wouldn’t be here if this were the bulk of my experiences. When things go right (and they often do) and I am not given such difficulty with the screening, then life is absolutely wonderful. The possibilities of our time together is endless and we embark on a rewarding adventure! This is why I stay.
A few bad experiences does not trump all the good that has come my way.
If you are truly interested in meeting me, please don’t let your paranoia get the best of you. It is my job to simmer the risks down – both mine and yours. Allow me to take care of these things by letting me know which screening method you are most comfortable with, so we can get past these necessary steps and be free to get to know one another…
I look forward to hearing from you soon.
refined. artisanal. feminine.